There is still no news. The worst moment of every day is calling the street maintenance department to ask if they’ve been called to pick up her body. The best moments are those of human interaction, in which I can at least momentarily stop the endlessly spinning cog in my brain that continuously asks “Where is she where is she where is she?”
This morning I walked out from my house and walked several blocks in the area to the northwest that I know she traveled, trying to lay down something of a scent trail. Tomorrow we are taking two of the hounds out on long lines to see if they can pick up anything. We are ever on the lookout for overturned garbage cans and ripped apart trash bags, as Macy has a penchant for life’s delicious discards.
Yesterday morning I left a turtleneck I’d worn for 48 hours (the first 48 she’d been gone, when I’d only dozed and never slept) and Macy’s own dog pan full of food at the copse at the edge of the park where we know for certain she was the first night. Even late this afternoon the food remained untouched, a puzzle to me. Surely wildlife or other dogs would eat it? Tonight, very late, I went back to check and every last crumb was eaten. I’d like to think she came back and ate, but it was probably a passing dog, who at least enjoyed a real meal, which comforts me a little.
On my way to Kinko’s this afternoon to run off more posters, I was stopped on the street by a hungry man. I would have given him some cash, but I had none, which I became acutely aware of as I searched for a quarter for the parking meter. The hungry man had change and put it in the parking meter. He said to me, with a note of hope in his voice, “the Chinese place around the corner accepts debit cards.” So I said “Okay, let’s go then,” and found that paying for this stranger’s lunch (sweet and sour pork and chicken fried rice in a “Chinese” place that seemed to be run by an Eastern European couple) made me feel better. I left posters with him, and with a Sinclair college student in the restaurant and with the couple who ran the place.
This evening there was an email note from a woman who’d seen my post on Craigslist. She too has lost a dog, and while at the shelter this afternoon, she saw a dog who matched Macy’s description. I’ve seen him too, he’s a very handsome Walker hound. Cathy’s dog, an 18 month old Bichon named Austin disappeared from the area of Far Hills and Schantzle, and I find I am keeping an eye out for him too. I’ve had some great suggestions on more ways to look for Macy and I am working on trying them all.
My apologies to my friend Rita and her parents, Betty and Harlan, who had so kindly invited us for an early Thanksgiving dinner tonight. I had really wanted to go, but this afternoon marked the end of my bravery and when I finally broke down and cried I could not stop for a long long time.
Where is Macy? 